Your results don’t define your worth and confidence, your worth and confidence create your results
If you’ve been stuck and unable to achieve a goal for a while, you might have the cause and effect relationship between results and your sense of self-worth backwards.
An idea to contemplate
If you haven’t been able to attain something for an extended period of time, you likely have the cause and effect relationship between outcomes and your sense of worth backwards.
The misconception: Your results define your value.
Most people think:
I am not as successful as I want to be and that means I’m not good enough.
People don’t appreciate me enough and that means I’m not valuable.
I haven’t lost weight and that means I’m not good enough.
I procrastinate and that means I’m not good enough.
This misconception creates the false idea that when you get there–when you achieve your goals, when you find love and acceptance, lose weight, stop procrastinating, you’ll finally feel good enough. But what actually happens is that you attain whatever you wanted to attain, and still the emptiness within remains gaping.
The truth: Your worth is inherent and your trust in it creates your outcomes.
Your significance, value and worth are inherent. They are not something you receive when you perform or please but something you are born with and always have, no matter what. You may lose the awareness of your significance, but you never lose your significance. You may have thoughts that tell you that you are not good enough, not deserving, not worthy–but underneath that toxic inner monologue you are always already perfect, whole, wise and complete.
Three questions for you
What confining beliefs prevent you from deeply feeling into and trusting your inherent worth, significance and value? Where in childhood did they originate? Are they true?
An experiment to try
Pay attention to any confinement, constriction or fear you experience. As you notice it, ask yourself what false belief is creating this feeling. How would you think, feel and act without that belief?
A quote to ponder
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare
What’s on my mind
I’m reflecting on the importance of speaking my truth–truth that’s vulnerable and difficult to share. My fear of sharing my truth is the fear of the attack, rejection or abandonment I anticipate might happen on the other side of it. But not sharing my truth is my own attack, rejection and abandonment of myself. And I recognise that what’s most significant when it comes to speaking my truth is not changing other people’s behaviour or getting something from them, but acknowledging and allowing myself as I am, prior to and after their reaction. Staying within my integrity.