Continuous guilt and shame create and keep unwanted behaviours in place

Incessant self-judgement and self-blame are signs you’ve bought into constricting beliefs about your worth and value.

One idea to contemplate

Continuous guilt and shame create and keep self-defeating behaviours in place. They are signs you’re hooked onto limiting beliefs about your value and significance. You don’t feel guilty because you did something wrong. You feel guilty because you haven’t healed childhood trauma that has conditioned you to always blame yourself.

Three questions for you

How often is it your fault? How often were you criticised and shamed as a child? How much of your guilt and shame were you saddled with as a result of childhood conditioning, cultural norms, and caregivers’ own guilt and shame?

An experiment to try

Make a list of your three biggest childhood faults and failures that caused you to feel guilt and shame. How much of what happened was really your fault? For each “offence”, list three proofs how it wasn’t your fault.

Quote to ponder

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” – Carl C. Jung

What’s on my mind

One of my biggest breakthroughs when it comes to relationships, romantic and otherwise: I felt unloved not because the love wasn’t there, but because I wasn’t able to receive it.