Stop lying to yourself. (And love the ego that’s lying).
Radical honesty with yourself is essential for discovering the truth of who you are and creating a life that truly makes you feel alive. Shame, guilt and fear are what keep you from that.
One idea to contemplate
You’re stuck in patterns because you’re avoiding being radically honest with yourself – looking at the uncomfortable truth. But it’s not the truth you’re scared of, it’s what conditioned shame, guilt and fear are telling you the truth might be. That’s how shame, guilt and fear speak: “If I looked at myself with radical honesty–I might discover that I am indeed that horrible person my ego’s been telling me I am.”
In reality, what happens when you look at yourself with radical honesty is that you discover that you are none of your fears, shames and guilts about yourself. You discover that your doubts, fears and self-judgements are lies your ego invented–false stories it made up. What’s behind the mask is endlessly beautiful and empowering — it’s only your ego’s fear that tells you otherwise.
Two questions for you
What’s the truth you’ve been scared to admit to yourself? How does being honest with yourself about it feel in your system: in your heart, in your gut, in your mind?
An experiment to try
Heart-led meditative inquiry
First, ask yourself: If I looked at myself with radical honesty, what am I most scared I might discover? What’s that horrible fear that might be true about you? Once you’ve identified it, find a quiet place, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and let your attention drop from your head into the core of your body. Bring your attention to your heart area, feel into your heart area, and then ask yourself: What is my heart’s deepest knowing about this fear? What does my system know about it that my mind does? What’s deeply and authentically true for me?
Quote to ponder
“We cannot see what we are lost within, no more than we can usually know we are in a dream while we are dreaming.” – John J. Prendergast, a nondual teacher, author, retired psychotherapist, and retired Adjunct Professor of Psychology
What’s on my mind
I notice that if I’m making decisions in order to achieve an outcome, I feel anxious, disconnected and stressed. Conversely, if I make decisions from presence – from what feels true for me at this point in time – I experience joy and expansiveness, and unsurprisingly I end up making better decisions.
Cover photo by Stephen McFadden on Unsplash