Why you’re stuck in repeating patterns and not-enoughness

Discover the real reason behind your repeating not-enoughness, loneliness and recurring relationship patterns.  

Do you find yourself perpetuating old patterns, stuck in unhelpful habits and behaviours, feeling a nagging sense of not-enoughness no matter how much you achieve? 

There are two misconceptions that keep you stuck in recurring problems. 

Fallacy 1: Your not-enoughness will disappear when you solve your problems

You have the cause and effect relationship of your problems backwards.  

The fallacy: You think you’ll feel good enough when you stop procrastinating, when people value and appreciate you more, when you become more successful, when you exercise more. 

The truth: You’ll stop procrastinating when you recognise that you are good enough, just as you are. People will value and recognise you more when you see that you are enough and accept and appreciate yourself for who you are. You’ll naturally take the actions that move your work forward when you feel that you are good enough. The energy to exercise will emerge, when you stop judging yourself. 

You’ll start dissolving your problems, when you realise that you are good enough as you are. 

When you stop judging yourself, you’ll naturally take the actions that are right by you and aligned with your deepest truth.

Fallacy 2: Your stress, anxiety, relationship challenges and repeating patterns aren’t the source of your problems

You think that you feel like an imposter because you haven’t achieved enough. That you’re anxious and stressed because you have too much to do. That you feel unseen and misunderstood in relationships because you haven’t found the right partner. 

And so, you believe that when you iron out your deficiencies, become enough, carve out the uber-productivity routine, get on top of your to-do-list and find a loving partner–you’ll finally feel good about yourself, deserving of your success, and more joyful and alive. 

That’s a fallacy. Your stress, depression, relationship challenges and repeating patterns aren’t due to anything you lack or have too much of. They’re the result of your inner war against yourself. 

There’s an inner voice that’s talking to you, and not very kindly. It’s constantly nagging you to be different, better and ever more than you are. 

Do this, don’t do that. Be this, don’t be that. Say this, don’t say that. 

You’re under the yolk of a brutal perfectionist internally that’s evaluating every single thing you are, think, feel, and do, demanding and disciplining, comparing and scoring, strategising and making plans to improve you. 

The inner peace you long for, the deep and meaningful connections, the sense of self-worth and appreciation, the aliveness–they aren’t found by solving your problems. They are the by-product of ending the inner war against yourself, connecting with the truth of who you always already are, and expressing your authenticity.